Monday, March 31, 2008

I did it!

I set new workout goals, and today I accomplished my first one! My goal is to workout in the morning on M,T,W and F during the week. Today was the first day and I made it! I was there before 6:00. May seem small to some of you, but this is huge for me. I love my bed and I love to sleep in with the kids. But it's not very productive, so I decided that today was a new day. I have so many things that I want to do, and getting healthy again is probably the main one. So, there, I did it!

Stephen's grandfather's birthday is today. Stephen's dad was here this weekend and told us that they were taking him to lunch yesterday, so we thought it would be fun to show up at the restaurant (in Knoxville) and surprise him! It was so fun and so worth the drive. Of course, I forgot my camera ;) Happy Birthday PaPa!! We loved getting to spend the day with you!

I hope everyone has a great day! Off to the laundry!

Friday, March 28, 2008

Discovery Center




I remembered to take pictures! The one of the girls isn't the best, but the other one wasn't good at all. O well.

I need sunshine!

I need some warm weather and sunshine! I am so ready for summer and the pool! We just rejoined the Y so we can go to the pool again this summer and I have never been more ready. I guess I should work out, too, but I will worry about that later. HA! We are going to the Discovery Center today. Should be fun. I am taking my camera with me; we'll see if we actually get any pictures this time. I am terrible at remembering to take pictures when I am chasing 4 kids! Hope everyone has a great day!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Might as well dance...

My aunt sent me this story today. It touched me and instead of sending it to 10 people, I thought I would share it here.

When I arrived at 2:30 a.m., the building was dark except for a single light in a ground floor window.

Under these circumstances, many drivers would just honk once or twice, wait a minute, and then drive away.

But I had seen too many impoverished people who depended on taxis as their only means of transportation. Unless a situation smelled of danger, I always went to the door. This passenger might be someone who needs my assistance, I reasoned to myself.

So I walked to the door and knocked. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940s movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.


There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.


'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.


She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated'.


'Oh, you're such a good boy', she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'


'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly.


'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice'.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued. 'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.


'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.


For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.


We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.


As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired. Let's go now'


We drove in silence to the address she had given me.It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.


Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' she asked, reaching into her purse.


'Nothing,' I said

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.


Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.


'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said.

'Thank you.'


I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.


I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that woman had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?


What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?


On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.


We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

PEOPLE MAY NOT REMEMBER EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID, OR WHAT YOU SAID, ~BUT~THEY WILL ALWAYS REMEMBER HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL.

You won't get any big surprise in 10 days if you send this to ten people.

But, you might help make the world a little kinder and more compassionate by sending it on.

Thank you, my friend...

Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

Fun

This was a fun typing test.

76 words

Speedtest

Monday, March 24, 2008

New pictures





Of course, yesterday, when I went to take Easter pictures, my camera batteries were dead. My aunt took some so I will get them from her one of these days. These pics are from the zoo. Blogger is doing something weird where I can't see the pics when I download them, just text. So I will just tell you about them here. The one of Jordan flying through the air I just thought was funny. I think Luke took it. The others are at the playground at the zoo. Stephen and I were talking and we looked over and Luke was pushing Cammie. They were smiling at each other and laughing. The pic doesn't show that of course;) Hope everyone had a great Easter! HE IS RISEN!!

Really?

I just heard this on TV. "Discover your inner Pokemon!" Seriously?

Monday, March 17, 2008

Sounds...

Tonight, while I sit at the computer, I am listening to different sounds. The dishwasher, the dryer, Claire's nebulizer. Her allergies kicked in today after missing her allergy medicine Saturday night. And all these sounds make me realize one thing...I wouldn't want to be anywhere else. God is so good and He is so real to me.

I have had to go back and revisit the question, "Why do I believe in God?" I have reconnected with a girl that was in our youth group in White House, TN. Her beliefs have changed dramatically. I don't think I could breathe without my relationship with God. I honestly don't know how someone comes to the conclusion that He isn't real or doesn't exist. But I also need to be able to tell people why I believe what I believe. So I am working on it.

What I do know is that He is real, His word is truth, and you can trust Him. Everytime in everything.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

I believe...

God did call me to homeschool. I am confident of this. I can't share much tonight, because it is almost 10 p.m. and I need to get to bed. But I just wanted to share that things are much better in my mind. I know God called me here, and He is equipping me with exactly what I need to make this work. He is faithful. Trust Him. More later.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Struggling...

Sometimes I really struggle with what to write here. I started this blog as an attempt to keep out of town family up to date on the kids. Then it became more of a journal of things that I was going through. I am also not sure if I want to share everything I am feeling, because I don't know who all reads this and if I would really want everyone to know what is going through my head. That having been said...

When we decided to bring the kids home, I was confident that God was telling us to do this. I thought we had prayed about it and the signs looked very clear at the time. Now, I am not so sure. Was God actually telling us to bring them home? Was He telling us to just pull them from the school where they were and put them back at their old school? Was I really praying about it at all?

I would like to believe that the reason this has been so hard is because I am in God's will so Satan is just having fun with me. That is the explanation that makes me feel better about this anyway. But I am wondering if I heard Him wrong. This is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Alice, if you are reading this, I don't know how you have done it successfully all these years. I question daily whether or not to put the kids back in school. Are they learning everything they need to be? Right now, the answer is no. Are they happy? Would they be happier with friends? Can I be selfless enough to make this work?

I honestly have no idea. I just know that today, I don't know if I made the right decision. I don't know if they are better off being at home with me. I don't know if keeping them at home will turn out to be the best thing we've ever done, or if it will turn out to be a huge mistake that we have to learn from. I have great kids; I just want what's best for them, and right now, I am not sure what that is.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

New pictures





I took these pictures on Saturday when the weather was so beautiful. We are ready for Spring! This was also the first time Campbell was in the swing. She loved it!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Crazy couple of weeks...

Yes, these last couple of weeks have been crazy, but I can't really tell you anything specific we did. School is getting better, more organized. We are trying to stay on more of a schedule. I hope it works. For all you mothers out there who have homeschooled for a while, my hat is off to you. IT'S SOOOO HARD!!!! I know it will be worth it if we can make it work, but MAN it's hard.

One thing that I have realized over the last week or so is that I am selfish. (No comment, Stephen!!) There are so many things that I want to be doing. I want to be able to work out more than 2 days a week. I want to be able to meet my friends for lunch when all their kids are in school, but never do because I have all my kids with me. I want to be able to run to the mall without having to take half the day getting out of the house. I want my house to stay clean for more than 30 minutes.

Now, let me say before I get anyone criticizing me, I know how completely blessed I am. I have four healthy kids. I get to spend my time with them. God has entrusted them to me to teach how to love Him. I have a husband that works hard so I can stay home with my kids, which is my lifelong dream. I have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, food to eat, amazing friends, loving family, the list goes on and on.

I am not really sure what my point was in between starting this post and getting the kids breakfast ;) I guess it was just to get my feelings down. I am struggling right now with feeling like I am trapped in a way, not being able to do some of the things I really want to do because of my obligations. On the other hand, I love my "obligations" and really wouldn't trade where I am. Does every mother go through this at some point? I think so.