Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Crazy couple of weeks...

Yes, these last couple of weeks have been crazy, but I can't really tell you anything specific we did. School is getting better, more organized. We are trying to stay on more of a schedule. I hope it works. For all you mothers out there who have homeschooled for a while, my hat is off to you. IT'S SOOOO HARD!!!! I know it will be worth it if we can make it work, but MAN it's hard.

One thing that I have realized over the last week or so is that I am selfish. (No comment, Stephen!!) There are so many things that I want to be doing. I want to be able to work out more than 2 days a week. I want to be able to meet my friends for lunch when all their kids are in school, but never do because I have all my kids with me. I want to be able to run to the mall without having to take half the day getting out of the house. I want my house to stay clean for more than 30 minutes.

Now, let me say before I get anyone criticizing me, I know how completely blessed I am. I have four healthy kids. I get to spend my time with them. God has entrusted them to me to teach how to love Him. I have a husband that works hard so I can stay home with my kids, which is my lifelong dream. I have a roof over my head, clothes to wear, food to eat, amazing friends, loving family, the list goes on and on.

I am not really sure what my point was in between starting this post and getting the kids breakfast ;) I guess it was just to get my feelings down. I am struggling right now with feeling like I am trapped in a way, not being able to do some of the things I really want to do because of my obligations. On the other hand, I love my "obligations" and really wouldn't trade where I am. Does every mother go through this at some point? I think so.


Mari Fontana said...

I found your blog through emily's. I just want to encourage you. I too started homeschooling this year and it is definately an adjustment. But as you said well worth it!! I must say "hats off" to you....you started homeschooling with a baby in the home wow! I'm having a baby in June and will be where you are next year...I'm a little nervous to see what that will look like, but I rest in knowing that it can be done...Is there any better place or job?

Tamara said...

I love you and am so proud to call you friend! Your heart is amazing and your strength is even more amazing! I love you!