Thursday, September 04, 2008

Body Clutter

I am reading this book called Body Clutter. If you are familiar with Fly Lady, it's the same woman. The book is on weight loss. It is really good. Last night when I was reading, something struck me that I hadn't thought of before. She was saying that one of the first things you need to do when trying to lose weight is learn to love yourself. We can't love others until we love ourselves. We won't take care of something that we don't love. Just like clutter in our homes. If it's something we don't really care about, we just shove it in a corner and let it collect dust. If we don't love ourselves, we will not do the things we need to do for ourselves to live the best life we can.

I don't know why I hadn't thought of this before, but it really hit me between the eyes. I started thinking about all the things that I feel like I don't do well. Things I fail at. I failed at homeschool. I fail at talking nicely to my children. I fail at keeping my home like I should. I fail my friends. And all these things have made me love myself less and less, until I just quit taking care of myself. For those of you that know me, you know that weight gain scares me because of my family's history. Most, actually all, of the women on my mom's side of the family are overweight. It isn't only that I want to be a certain size, or that I want to look a certain way. Though that is certainly part of it. I just don't want to end up having all the health problems that I know come with it. I don't want Claire and Campbell to end up having to deal with these same issues when they get older. I don't worry about the boys as much because I already see how much they want to be like their daddy. They have a very good role model in him. But I do worry about the girls. And I worry about me.

How do we get to a point that we start turning things around? How do we learn to love ourselves again? Have any of you been there? If you have, how did you get out of it? Right now I am in one of those neverending vicious cycles and I can't seem to bring myself to the place where I know I need to be. I want to change, but I want it to be permanent. Any suggestions? Advice?

6 comments:

Rachel said...

ooh, I like those ideas... I may have to get the book. Unfortunately, no good ideas though... I'm kindof in the same place you are.

Margaret said...

I linked this blog via Kym McDonald's. I don't know how you relate to Kym, but I'll insert my two cents -- first of all, I really like the Fly Lady. I was on the house keeping program for about a minute a year or so ago. But on the other issue about loving yourself less and less as time goes on - I don't have a solution either, but I will tell you that I feel exactly the same way. I have great kids, am a smart person about to finish law school, am still married after 13 years, etc. But something just isn't clicking. Let us know if you figure it out, and I'll do the same! But be comforted (maybe) by knowing there are others there with you...

Mandy said...

I will just remind you of the book I suggested the other night: YOU CAN HEAL YOUR LIFE by Louise Hay. Amazing. It's that type of thinking that has allowed me to start loving myself. Trust me, I have a LONG way to go though!

Elizabeth S said...

Thanks for your comment, Margaret. I grew up with Kym at Joelton. My grandparents are Mary and Raymond Proctor. I think I have met you before! Small world.

Kristi said...

I'm about to write a blog about this myself, so I won't repeat what I am planning to say. But not fitting into my clothes anymore has done it for me. I am taking the high road starting today. No joking, no changing my mind. It is happening. I'm starting with Dr. Phil and I will continue with Flylady once you are done! :) Love you.

Anonymous said...

Oh sweety I am loving your blog what a wonderful way to connect...especially as a woman. I love the flylady and I have been reading her emails for over a year now. The one continual message I gather is "change the behavior". We humans are very routine set and our behavior is a reflection of those routines. Another thing about being a woman is the hormones. I am truly amazed at how my emotions are tied to my hormones. Very complex...very chemical...we humans are. Here is the key "change the behavior in baby steps" "15 minutes at a time" be sure to give yourself a much deserved break too. Managing a family is a full time job...keeping your family nurtured and healthy takes a plan...learning that plan takes time. Respecting your need to take a break and tend to yourself is part of nurturing your family. You set the tone for your family...they can do all things because you provide the cushion for their support. When you get stressed out...that is your bodies way of saying "change the behavior" this is not right. We have gotten away from listening to ourselves. I am the change I want to see for my family. I am not going to nag them... I am going to set the example and let them be inspired on their own. God works that way in my life. He doesn't tell me what to do..he sets the example and I am compelled to follow. Not perfectly...always learning...always finding the opportunities to try again. Once again he always forgives me and provides the cushion I need to try again. Be that for your family...be that constant peace for them...smile when it is hard...meet their enthusiasm...meet their sadness...be their peace. You are loved by an awesome God and he loves you so much he gave you your family. He loves them so much he gave them "you".