This movie was on TV last night. Everytime it's on, I just have to watch it. It is one of my all-time favorite movies, for many reasons. One of them is that I really want to live in New York. Ever since I saw this movie for the first time, I have said that I want to live in NY but only if I can live in Kathleen Kelley's apartment and money was no object. Ha ha! I know I will probably never live there, but it's fun to dream!
Anyway, the point of this post is this: there is a quote in the movie that I forget about till I hear it, but everytime I do, it hits me like a ton of bricks. When Kathleen realizes that her store may be in trouble, she is writing an e-mail and she says, "Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life. Well, valuable but small. And I wonder if I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave." This is exactly how I feel. Especially in the situation we are in right now. I just feel like there is so much out there that I didn't get to experience because I was married with kids so young. And I wouldn't change that for anything, but I have just been thinking about it. What would I do if I could do anything I wanted? Would I be doing what I am doing right now, or would it be something different? Most days, I say that there is nowhere else I'd rather be. And I believe that. But I am not sure I remember what my dreams were as a kid. Actually, I did dream of being a wife and mother, so maybe this is exactly where I am supposed to be. Well, I am rambling. Just wanted to get these thoughts down to remind myself to be brave. Not to be afraid to try new things. Not to think, "I'm a mom now, I can't do that." Anyway...
5 comments:
That's where I was when I started Artsy Mamas. And since then, I've not be scared of anything. I think you owe it to the kids to live authentically and to show them that they can do anything they set their minds to. Now, go out there and do it!!
I understand what you are saying...and I was thinking about it the other day when Chelsea was watching my kids all day..I realized I am not who I was anymore. I am going to have to reinvent myself to realize who I was before kids and then again, do I REALLY want to be what I was before kids? They have changed me in ways that make sense and are right...so who am I now that I have children and what do they need from me and what do I need to be what they need? Does ANY of this make any sense?
Tamara, yes it makes sense. And Mandy, my problem is that I don't know what "it" is.
I watched that movie last night, well until I fell asleep and Joey up and changed the channel on me, I love that movie, it really gets me in the mood for fall.
Well then, become a flight attendant and move to New York - that's what I did out of college. I LOVE NY - I CRAVE NY! But I was scared out of my mind moving to a city that is huge...had no place to live, making basically peanuts for money...but, it was a job, with insurance (that's what my Daddy told me I needed..a job w/ insurance). Now looking back, moving to NY was one of the best things for me. I'm not telling you this to make you feel that you're missing out...because believe me, you're not. I could tell you stories about my time in NY that would make you cringe and cry. You will find your "it" - you will work through this difficult time in your life. You will come out on the other side and will be fabulous as a result! Sometimes I'm envious of those that married young and had babies young and are now young mommas. See, we're all looking at the other side wondering "what if"... so, it's not just you! But, you need to know this...you need to go to New York! You would LOVE it! So, when things settle down and your kids get a bit older, you plan that trip! I've always said too, that I want to live in NY (again), but on the Upper East Side in a 5th Avenue 10,000 sq. foot apartment overlooking Central Park, right down the street from Tiffany's, driver at my disposal, doorman at my door, elevator that opens right into my apartment, NO budget, NO worries....Yeah, like that will ever happen?!?! I love ya and think about you often!!!
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