Boy, oh boy

Man. When something hits me, it hits me hard. I have realized today, tonight specifically, how little self-control I have. I can't really explain in detail, but I think God is shouting at me that I cannot live this life on my own. If I truly want to belong to Him and live the life He has called me to, I have to give up my own way. I have to surrender everything to Him, even if it hurts for a while. And the yucky stuff I want gone anyway, well, that will just be an added bonus. Why is this so hard? Maybe one day I can explain more. One thing I do know is that self-control is something I must have to please God. It is something I must have to be able to witness to others. It is something I must have in order to live the life He has called me to live.

So, tomorrow, this is my quest.

Question...

Do you draw a line between your physical health/fitness and being a Christian? I mean, not that anyone who is overweight and/or in poor health isn't a good Christian. I am just wondering if the two are related in some way. I have been searching today for some scripture that would help clear this question up, but I can't really find anything. Maybe that means they aren't really related. Any thoughts?

6 Months and Happy Turkey Day!

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Updates

First things first: Campbell is 6 months old! She had her checkup yesterday. She weighed 15 lbs 6 0z and was a little over 25 inches long. She is doing well. She has been running a little fever, so she couldn't get her shots. I have to take her back tomorrow for that. Overall, though, she is perfect. I couldn't ask for a sweeter baby.

As far as our neighborhood goes, there was another shooting Wednesday night at the same house. But, it is all drug/gang related. So if you aren't in a gang or involved in drugs, you are pretty safe. We are taking the necessary precautions like playing at other parks, not being outside too late, and making sure our kids know all the safety rules. But honestly, God has given me a sense of safety and security lately that I haven't felt here before, and we have lived here for almost 4 years.

Thanksgiving is going to be crazy. We have always gone to my paternal grandmother's for lunch and my maternal grandmother's for dinner. We are doing neither this year. Lunch will be at my dad's sister's house, and dinner just isn't happening. My grandmother lost her best friend this week and she just isn't feeling up to it. We have other family issues going on on the other side of the family, which is why we are going to my aunt's house. It will actually work better because she has more room. It will just be weird not being where we always are. I know, though, that the important thing is that we will all be together and it doesn't matter where we are. That is what I am focusing on.

Tomorrow, the kids and I are making goody bags for the boys at Cedar Grove Boys' Home. This is a place that my church works with. Every year at Thanksgiving, Stephen's family is in charge of their lunch and whoever is available goes and has T'giving with the boys at the home. Since we can't do the lunch, we are making the bags so the kids will feel a part of that tradition. The kids will make cards to attach to the bags to encourage the residents, so I hope my kids will understand who they are helping. I am going to talk to them about it tonight.

Well, that is about all that is going on with us. I will post some pictures later. Hope everyone has a good day.

Are we safe?

A shooting took place in our neighborhood yesterday. It was on the street that runs paralell to ours. We were outside and heard the whole thing. It happened at 3:30 in the afternoon. The getaway car was parked on the street that connects our street to the street it happened on. I heard the shots, I heard the sirens, and I heard the getaway car screech away. I also found out last week that the park on the same street where the shooting happened that we go to alot is gang territory. At what point do you decide the risk of staying somewhere it too dangerous? Are we safe? We know most of our neighbors right around us, but do we worry anyway? We really can't afford to move, but should we find a way to move anyway to keep our family safe? Or is our family safe where we are and we just need to trust God to keep us safe? These are the things that I am thinking today. This, and the thought that if I had been walking to the park, as we always do, I would have walked right past the getaway car and probably would have seen the shooters. Scary.

New insight

I usually use the New International Version of the Bible. My son, Jordan, has the New Living Translation. It was in the car so I read some of my favorite passages while I was waiting in the pick-up line at school. I have been looking for a verse to claim to help me with the changes I am trying to make in my life, breaking old habits, etc. I had read this verse in my Bible, but it spoke to me today. It is Rom. 8:11-12. "The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as God raised Christ Jesus from the dead, he will give life to your mortal bodies by this same Spirit living within you. Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do." The part in italics is what jumped out at me. Just wanted to share.

Suggestions, please...

I am trying to change the way I eat. I don't want to call it a diet, because I don't see it as something temporary. I see it as a life change, for me and my family. My question is this: does anyone have suggestions for eating healthy on a budget? Healthy foods are so much more expensive. We are on the tightest budget ever and I am having a hard time here. Also, my trainer wants me to eat 5 small meals a day. I don't know if I can afford to buy enough food to eat that much. Also, I don't want to eat if I'm not hungry just to fit the meals in, but that's another post. So, any suggestions you could offer would be great! Thanks.

5 months and a thought...

Campbell is actually 5 1/2 months now, but anyway, I have been seeing blogs where people put a picture of their babies for each month on their first birthday. I don't think I have one for month three, but I have the rest. So, I hope to do this on her first birthday. Anyway, here are her pictures for month 5. (The ones for today at least ;)




The words from a song spoke to me today. They kind of described where my thoughts are today. I challenge all of us to look at how we are spending our time.



"Sometimes I feel disappointed, by the way I spend my time, How can I further your kingdom, when I'm so wrapped up in mine?" This is from "In the Blink of an Eye" by Casting Crowns I think. I have been thinking a lot about making my life what it is supposed to be. Making sure I am the mom God wants me to be to his babies, making sure I am the wife I am supposed to be, the friend, daughter, etc. So when I heard this, it was exactly what I needed to hear. My life is not about me. God put me here to serve and love Him and point others to Him. That's it. Nothing more. Just something I need to remember.

FYI: If you smell nail polish...

and have a two year old, go find him! Sorry some of the pictures are blurry, I couldn't get him to stand still. Shocking.

Another song...

I don't know how many of you are touched by songs. I honestly don't know if I could live without music. Any kind. I heard a song today on the radio that I have heard several times before, and I have even sung along with it. But today I actually stopped and paid attention to the words. It is exactly what I have been trying to say about how I feel about Jesus right now. I don't know if I can adequately explain...I guess I can't because I can't even find words to finish this sentence. Anyway, here are the lyrics. Again, I don't know how to put a song on here, so if you can, go find it and listen to it. Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Everything to Me by Avalon
I grew up in sunday school
I memorized the Golden rule
And how Jesus came to set the sinner free
I know the story inside out
I can tell you all about
The path that led Him up to Calvary
But ask me why He loves me
And I don't know what to say
But i'll never be the same
Because he changed my life when He became...

Everything to me
He's more than a story
more than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything, everything to me

We're living in uncertain times
And more and more I find that i'm aware
Of just how fragile life can be
I want to tell the world I found
A love that turned my life around
They need to know that they can taste and see
Now everyday I'm praying
Just to give my heart away
I want live for Jesus
So that someone else might see that he is...

Everything to me
He's more than a story
more than words on a page of history
He's the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
He's everything
And looking back over my life at the end
I'll go to meet you saying you've been...

You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're everything to me
You're more than a story
More than words on a page of history
You're the air that I breath
The water I thirst for
And the ground beneath my feet
You're everything to meLord, you're everything to me

What am I doing here?

OK. I know a lot of people from my church are going to read this, so let me start out by saying that I love my church. I love the people there, and I especially love the dear friends I have made there. That having been said...

I am really struggling with my church right now. Let me explain just one example. I feel like we are focusing on the wrong things. I feel like we are focusing too much on being "perfect" and too little on reaching out to the lost. We are focusing too much on how our church building looks, making sure it is beautiful, but not enough on bringing people to our building who couldn't care less what it looks like. To me, Halloween is a perfect opportunity to reach out to our community. Why not throw a huge party and open your doors and offer the community a safe, positive place to spend Halloween? I am just not sure I understand. We couldn't even have Trunk-or-Treat in the parking lot. I just think it is ridiculous. My friend Brandon had a great post on this and there were some great comments made. (His blog is http://www.brandonscottthomas.blogspot.com/.) One of the commenters said that he didn't want to be that guy in the neighborhood with the porch light off who doesn't hand out candy to the neighbors. He was saying that he didn't understand how we are supposed to be the light of Jesus to the world if we seclude ourselves from it.

I get that we are supposed to be what Jesus wants. We are supposed to strive to be like Him in everything we do. But I don't think Jesus thought parking lots were sacred. And I don't think He would have shut himself in his house and turned the porch light off on Halloween night. I think He would have had the little dressed up children on his knees telling them how great their costumes looked. I think he would have reached out with a smile on his face and love would have radiated from him. Why can't we do this? I just don't understand. I know that I am at this church for a reason; I am just not sure what that reason is, yet.