Man. When something hits me, it hits me hard. I have realized today, tonight specifically, how little self-control I have. I can't really explain in detail, but I think God is shouting at me that I cannot live this life on my own. If I truly want to belong to Him and live the life He has called me to, I have to give up my own way. I have to surrender everything to Him, even if it hurts for a while. And the yucky stuff I want gone anyway, well, that will just be an added bonus. Why is this so hard? Maybe one day I can explain more. One thing I do know is that self-control is something I must have to please God. It is something I must have to be able to witness to others. It is something I must have in order to live the life He has called me to live.
So, tomorrow, this is my quest.